About No. 119

How we connect with the things around us is interesting, especially with each other. When I examine these relationships, I always seem to fall into a kind of self analysis. This paining was intended to be about a small incident at a party. There was this woman and I could see the men glancing over, trying to be discrete although, I’m sure their wives would have objected. I tried to paint the scene the way I remembered but, it just looked like any other paining of a model. It didn’t work, I had lost the connection and abandoned the paining. A few years later, when I started the beaded series, I revisited the paining and tried to remember why I wanted to paint it in the first place. I remembered that it had started to cool down but, was still humid, the sun had disappeared and the porch lights were coming on. I remembered these tall flowers were opening but, couldn’t remember what kind. I then realized I was trying to remember fragments of information instead of why the scene had an impact on me. What I was subconsciously trying to convey was my own desire to look over without getting caught, it was that feeling of panic that set the impression in my mind. This painting is from the beaded curtain series, see the link below for more.