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The Beaded Curtain

By 2008, I realized something was wrong, I had been looking for solutions to problems that didn’t exist. I was lacking a kind of self awareness or introspection. At the time, I was struggling with the notion of memory, or if memory actually existed when I suddenly remembered something from my childhood.

In 1979, I went to visit my older sister in her first apartment which had this beaded curtain separating the living room from the kitchen. Her roommate was in the living room cleaning and the only thing I could make out was a figure in the shadows and the shapes of the furniture. It’s a fuzzy memory, but I distinctly remember the glittering of the beads and this scene behind the curtain.

I had never thought about that day before and It never crossed my mind that maybe I was blocking something. After all, I was 12 at the time and it was embarrassing, it had voyeuristic connotations which seemed wrong. Memories like these are hard to see through and it occurred to me that the hazy parts of a memory are probably a kind of defense mechanism that guards us from negative images or thoughts so we’re able to carry on. Memories are never clear, there is always some hazy illusion to them, like a vail, or in my case, a beaded curtain. By simply recognizing the beaded curtain for what it was, I was able to openly and honestly see myself.

The Beaded Curtain, explores the hidden areas in human psychology and identifies repressed secrets, private thoughts and public misnomers. Because there are things I have yet to realize, this series uses a number system instead of titles. The anonymous nature of numbers leaves the paintings open to narrative interpretation which is important since we all have different experiences and memories.